You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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