What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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