It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize