I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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