Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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