Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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