he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
