Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize