Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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