I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
