I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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