she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
