haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
