Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
