I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
