summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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