HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Too much gin, very little bucket
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
