Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
