look no pants
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
