i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
