You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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