He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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