It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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