Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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