I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
