can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
