I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
