I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
