He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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