toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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