I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
