You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
did i walk over a car last night?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
