Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
