If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
