i was born a porn star she said
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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