My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Can I color on your dick again?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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