woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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