I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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