Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
