new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
