So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
