Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
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