We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
