Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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