real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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