I cut my penus on the lid.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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