arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
