At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize