i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
