i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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