drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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