Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
