Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
